Anxiety, Depression, and the Spiritual Journey slides and audio available

Thursday evening, June 18, over 50 people gathered at the St. Albans Community Outreach Center for this presentation. I want to express my appreciation to the WPPSC Board and to all who attended for creating a very energizing evening!

The audio and slides are now availabe HERE. You can get the basic points by scanning the slides. The audio offers more detail. (I’ve noticed that when I first click play that the audio starts, but then stops after a few seconds. When I click play again, it then plays the entire presentation.)

If you would like to be notified of upcoming presentations, please subscribe to the WPPSC blog using one of the options at the top of the right hand column of the WPPSC site.

Wes

Free Seminar: Anxiety, Depression, and the Spiritual Journey

Hello Friends,

On Thursday evening, June 18, the Waco Partnership for Psychological and Spiritual Care will be hosting my seminar titled “Anxiety, Depression, and the Spiritual Journey.”

Information and the RSVP link can be found HERE.

WPPSC is dedicated to fostering conversation about the integration of psychology and spirituality, and to raising funds to subsidize the cost of counseling for individuals who want to work with with spiritually informed therapists.  I hope you’ll look into this important work (and perhaps even make a donation!)

Wes

P.S.   Please pass this info along to your friends who wrestle with this issue, or have friends or family who do.

Trails, cabins, snakes, and faith

Wednesday morning, May 20, 2009 I was honored by an invitation to provide the opening “devotion” for the Baylor Admissions Department retreat.  Here’s what I offered…

Imagine you are hiking along one of the most amazing trails in the world, the Appalachian Trail. (see note at bottom).  Imagine that you are somewhere along this 2000 mile trek that stretches from Georgia to Maine, enjoying the sanctuary formed by a canopy of huge pines and decorated with colorful foliage.  You hike alone, taking in the sort of beauty that has convinced thousands of pilgrims that there must surely be a Loving Artist under girding creation.

You see the dark clouds forming in the distance, and the breeze in your face lets you know they are moving your way.  A sense of awe is mixed with a bit of anxiety as you see the first flash of lightning, and you realize a storm is approaching.  You’d said you wanted to the full experience of this trail, and it looks like your wish is coming true.

The sun is going down.  The light recedes quickly as the clouds move overhead.  You hear the thunderclap, and the first drops of rain splash on your face.  Thankfully, your map indicates a tiny wayside cabin is ahead, placed there for just such situations.

You bust through the cabin door just as the deluge hits.  You stumble straight across to the little cot, drop your pack, and lie down.  The huge smile on your face reflects both the joy of the experience and your dumb luck at having found shelter at just the right moment.  Exhaustion hits, so you roll over on your side, hoping to sleep despite the stormy symphony playing outside the little window.

And that’s when you see it.

In the dark, coiled right next to the door you have just entered through, is one of the biggest snakes you have ever seen in your life.

Suddenly every nerve ending in your body is firing.  “Oh my God!” You stare at the calm creature, trying to make out any sort of markings that would give you a hint about just what level of danger you are in.  But it’s too dark.  An occasional lightning flash offers a bit of light, but to no avail.  You don’t know if it’s a copperhead or just some big ol’ garden snake.  “What can I do?” There’s nothing you can do, except lie there as motionless as possible, and hope that whatever energy your entry might have stirred in the little monster has dissipated.  You simply pray that you don’t look like food.

Minutes pass, though they seem like hours.  You can’t keep your eyes quite open, but you sure as heck can’t let them completely close.

The full force of the storm is now right overhead.  And suddenly a lightning bolt illuminates the tiny cabin like a football stadium.  The shock of light lasts for only 3 seconds, but that three seconds is more than enough time for you to reach a startling conclusion.  “That’s not a snake, that’s a coil of rope?!” And once more you mutter, “Oh my God!”

The near-pitch dark returns.  Nothing has changed, yet everything has changed.  It still LOOKs like a snake by the door, but now you know.  You know that you know.  You know that you can go to sleep, and continue your adventure in the morning.

“One day on my way to Damascus, armed as always with papers from the high priests authorizing my action, right in the middle of the day a blaze of light, light outshining the sun, poured out of the sky on me and my companions. Oh, King, it was so bright! We fell flat on our faces. Then I heard a voice in Hebrew: ‘Saul, Saul, why are you out to get me? Why do you insist on going against the grain?’

”I said, ‘Who are you, Master?’

“The voice answered, ‘I am Jesus, the One you’re hunting down like an animal. But now, up on your feet—I have a job for you. I’ve handpicked you to be a servant and witness to what’s happened today, and to what I am going to show you.

“‘I’m sending you off to open the eyes of the outsiders so they can see the difference between dark and light, and choose light, see the difference between Satan and God, and choose God. I’m sending you off to present my offer of sins forgiven, and a place in the family, inviting them into the company of those who begin real living by believing in me.’         Acts 26:12-18 (The Message)

Richard Rohr says that there are experiences in life that have the capacity to break through the darkness, and leave us with a new level of conviction.  Rohr notes that these experiences seem to almost always involve some sort of suffering, some sense of being very stuck, and fearing that life is very meaningless.  These are often times when all of our religious knowledge proves to be quite impotent in bringing us comfort or a sense of direction.

People with terminal illnesses often describe such experiences.  You’ve heard it, and maybe you’ve experienced it yourself.  All options have been exhausted, and then something illuminates the dark corners of the soul, and the person says, “It’s going to be okay.  I just know.  I just know that I know.”

When I sit with a group like this, there are some things I know without having to know any of you personally.

• I know that some of you here have lost touch with the sense of deep conviction about the God’s redemptive work in you and in this world.
• I know that some of you carry that sense of conviction and hope, and feel frustrated about how to communicate it to those closest to you and to those whom you serve.
• And I know that some of you wonder if you’ve ever had any sort of experience that has imparted this sort of confidence.

Regardless of how you see yourself right now, I do know this.  The Christian tradition teaches that these moments of knowing almost always have some sort of connection to community.  And they almost always happen to those who are open and mindful of the possibilities.

You are gathered here, at this very moment, as a community.  You are gathered under the umbrella of an institution that is committed to injecting faith into a very secular world.  And I am convinced that if you are open and mindful, that this day holds the potential for surprise and wonder.  Who knows, you might discover that the coworker you’ve imagine is a snake is actually… well….

Let us pray,

Loving God,

You know us thoroughly, and so know what each of us needs from this day.  You have far too much respect for us to force any sort of illumination upon us, but you seem to be very willing to offer small peeks into eternity to those who are paying attention, to those who are open and mindful.  I ask you to poke each person here toward an extra measure of mindfulness, and I ask you to draw them together as we offer together the prayer you taught us, praying

Our Father, which art in heaven,

hallowed be thy name;

thy kingdom come;

thy will be done,

in earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive them that trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation;

but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,

the power, and the glory,

for ever and ever.                              Amen

_________________________________

Note: The image of the cabin is from Ken Wilber.  I’ve elaborated on his idea.

The Final Parenting Class Post

Note: On on January 11, 2009 I began facilitating a parenting class for DaySpring, the church I attend in Waco.  I’m going to be offering some of what I’m doing there in this space over the Spring.

OMG!  Our class has wrapped up rather abruptly!  I intended to hold our final class this coming Sunday, but then discovered that a new round of adult classes was beginning.  So, this is the last post for the class.  I’ll summarize our session this past Sunday, offer a couple of links related to the topic of Chores and Allowances, and include one last link related to sex.

This past Sunday I asked, “So how’s it going with your experiments.”  I think three central ideas emerged.  First, that it can be very hard to come up with creative approaches.  Second, it can be very hard to follow through.  Third, things get a bit complicated if the parents don’t share the concern.

For example, let’s consider the age old issue of expecting kids to help keep shared areas uncluttered.  The “classic” L&L approach would perhaps be to simply let kids know that any stuff left out at bedtime would be taken to Goodwill the next morning.  If the kids don’t pick up their stuff, then eventually the goal is reached by the mere fact that everything the kids own will be confiscated, and there won’t be any thing left to clutter with!  However, we admitted that it’s a lot of trouble to go to Goodwill every day, and we DID spend money on all that stuff, and we really don’t want to put up with the conflict that this generates!  Although this can be an effective approach, we also wondered what it would be like to make the consequence an interruption of an enjoyable bedtime routine.  What if mom or dad said, “I can either spend time reading to you or cleaning up after you.  Which would you prefer?” We also acknowledged that it can add a bit more interest to the process if one of the parents just doesn’t care about the clutter!

I reminded the group that its VERY important to let go of the goal of teaching your kids a lesson.  The goal MUST be for you to take good care of yourself by insisting on maintaining the sort of atmosphere in your home that YOU want.  The theory is that your kids will learn the lessons as a by product of you taking good care of yourself.  When you make the goal to teach them a lesson then you foster unnecessary resistance.

Chores and Allowances

My wife and I have approached this in various ways over the years.  Here’s the approach I developed a long time ago: A System for Handling Chores and Allowances. Many families have told me this approach has worked well for them, and it worked pretty good for us for a while also.  It worked best for us when all our kids were school age and when we had a family meeting every Sunday night to dispense allowances.  Dave Ramsey’s approach is a little different, and can be reviewed HERE.

One Last Resource Related to Sex

My trusty assistant , Jenn, found this link and passed it on to me:  How to Talk with your Kids about Sex. This article summarizes a conversation with Dr. Laura Berman on Oprah.  The ideas are generally consistent with what we’ve discussed in class, and includes some very interesting survey information.

Let me close by expressing gratitude to all those who participated in the class each Sunday, and to all of you who participated through this blog or by emailing me.  I would enjoy recreating this experience for any local groups, so please let me know if you believe this sort of parenting class would serve your congregation.

Peace,

Wes

Talking to Kids about Sex

Note: On on January 11, 2009 I began facilitating a parenting class for DaySpring, the church I attend in Waco.  I’m going to be offering some of what I’m doing there in this space over the Spring.

Its early Sunday morning, and the most magnificent storm has just passed through Waco America.  I’m smiling at the thought of kids all over McLennan county having scrambled to find comfort snuggled next to a warm parent…

This morning the parenting class will be discussing sex.  I’ve asked them to read Even Evangelical Teens Do It: How religious beliefs do, and don’t, influence sexual behavior. This article is a reflection on the work of Mark Regnerus and his book Forbidden Fruit: Sex & Religion in the Lives of American Teenagers.

I’ve not had a chance to read the book myself, but I’ve been reading reviews, along with interviews with Regnerus, and it would seem that the reader’s summary of salient points (see previous post) is right on the mark.

This leads me to conclude that there are two key elements involved in positive sex education.  Parents can control one of these elements, but can only influence the other.

1. The behavior of the parents.
2. Involvement in a peer group.

The Behavior of Parents

The first element, and this one will shock you, Kids are actually learning about sex by watching how their parents behave! I know… the idea that kids learn more about life by watching what their parents actually do, rather than by what they say, is a rather odd and scary concept, but it seems to be true.  And this is especially important where sex is concerned because sex is the only behavior in our culture that a child is not allowed to learn through modeling! Think about it.  A little boy gets to learn how to use a toilet by standing next to his dad and watching how his dad uses the toilet.  (Of course, since a portion of this education involves the ancient male art of stream “sword fighting,” women still often end up frustrated, but I digress.)

Since kids don’t get to watch what actually goes on behind closed doors, they are especially influenced by what they are seeing in front of those doors.  If kids watch loving and affectionate parents flirt and connect in appropriate ways, and hear those parents talking about sex in playful and respectful ways, then they are more likely to internalize a positive view of their own sexuality.

Parents get to control this aspect of sex education.  You, as a spouse and parent, get to decide what your kids will see.  I spent the first few weeks of the course asking parents to look at themselves and their experiences and attitudes regarding parenting in general.  I’d say that this inner reflection is especially important when it comes to sex.  Most of us have to admit that we’ve brought some pretty screwy ideas about sex in to adulthood.  If we don’t take some time to get conscious of these ideas, then we’ll simply pass them on to our children.

So, the question is, what are your kids learning about sex by watching you?

The Peer Group

This one can be more frustrating.  Although you can certainly influence what groups your child will connect with, you cannot force it.  You can influence what sort of youth group is available at your place of worship, and you can make sure your child attends the activities of that group.  However, you cannot insure that your child will connect to that youth group in a way that influences his or her behavior.  Also, as someone with ten years of experience as a youth minister, I can assure you that there is no magic formula for getting kids to connect.  I just know that some decide that the youth group will be their core group, and others don’t.  I watched this as a youth minister, and as a parent.

One Basic Principal: First messages are more powerful than correct messages.

A friend of mine in advertising once told me, “Its more important to be first than to be best.” This has important implications for talking with our kids about sex.  Ideally, we would offer our kids information about sex in age-appropriate doses.  However, whether we like it or not, once our kids hit school, they are going to get all sorts of distorted messages about sex from their peers.  Because of this, I think its important that, by the age of four, a child understands what a penis is and what a vagina is.  Not only that, a child needs to understand how these two interesting organs interact geographically to produce babies (and STDs).

I expect some folks to disagree with me on this approach, but I’m going to stand by it until someone offers me a compelling reason to rethink it.  Besides, talking to my son when he was quite young led to a couple of the most precious comments I’ve ever heard.  At the end of one of our talks I asked my very young son if he had any questions, to which he responded, “Yes… why does Wayne get to have the fan pointed at his bed?”  At the end of another of our conversations he offered, “Oh…. So you and mom have done that three times?”  You’ll be glad to know that I resisted responding, “Son, you are closer to right than you can possibly understand at your tender age.”

peace,

Wes

A Great Resource on Kids and Sexuality

A reader of this blog sent me the following in response to my request for resources related to this weeks parenting class topic: How and When to Talk with your Kids about Sex.

Mark Regnerus (soc prof. at UT-Austin) has done considerable work on religious American teens and sexuality.  Below is some rough recounting from his book “Forbidden Fruit”:

• Nationally, Evangelical teens actually lose their virginity at higher than average rates.  There is a disconnect between what teens believe and what they do.
• Believing pre-marital sex is wrong, holding Christian beliefs, church attendance, youth groups, or “the pledge” are not enough to help teens save themselves for marriage.  Tight-knit communities of like-minded peers and involved parents and adults seem to be what make more of a difference.
• Evangelical parents generally don’t talk to their kids about sex and if they do it’s generally brief: “just don’t do it.”  Regnerus finds this approach inadequate in deterring teen sex.
• Churches give the message “don’t do it” or “sex in marriage is so romantically wonderful.”  This is neither believable (based on what teens observe in parents and Christian adults) nor enough to counter cultural messages, opportunities, and urges.
  

Regnerus suggests that, along with the tight-knit community component, teens need deeper theological underpinning, eg we’re bought with a price, our bodies are temples.

Link to his work: http://www.markregnerus.com

Thanks Sam!

If you know of other important resources, please post them in the comments section.

Wes

Public versus Private Schools – Part 2

Note: On on January 11, 2009 I began facilitating a parenting class for DaySpring, the church I attend in Waco.  I’m going to be offering some of what I’m doing there in this space over the Spring.

Week before last the parenting class benefited from conversation with a panel of high school students from both public and private school settings.  This week we followed up with a conversation just amongst us parents.  I didn’t know exactly what to expect from this session, but I suspected it might be difficult, and it was.

This is a very polarizing topic in general, but especially polarizing for parents who take Christian faith seriously.  For the sake of discussion, I think I’d describe the two ends of the spectrum like this:

• Some parents believe it is imperative that Christians be involved in the public school system as a reflection of our duty to be “salt and light” in the unsavory and dark corners of our culture.
• Some parents believe it is imperative that Christians be “salt and light” by offering an alternative to a public school system that seems hopelessly broken and is antagonistic to religious perspectives.

In my opinion, the former group tends to accuse the latter group of almost being “unchristian” by segregating themselves and sharing the “wealth” among themselves, while the latter group tends to accuse the former group of withholding resources from their own children under the naive assumption that the public school system might actually change.

Let me be clear in saying I don’t know anyone who falls at either end of this spectrum.  Everyone I know lives somewhere in the middle.  This is just my attempt to provide some sort of clarity to the issue by offering a picture of the extremes.

Consequently, our conversation this past Sunday was often tense and and difficult.  As a way of summarizing, here’s an email (edited) I sent to a parent who’d expressed her thoughts to me.  She’d not been able to this last class:

Hi Matilda (not her real name),

We continued our conversation this past Sunday, and it was not an easy one.  I’m fascinated by how much anxiety the topic generates, and by how difficult it is for adults to discuss without all sorts of defensiveness and judgment coming in to play.  Personally, I just think parents on both sides deal with a fair amount of guilt, especially Christian parents.  Private school parents have to wrestle with the fact that their kids are getting an advantage most kids don’t have simply because they have more money.  Public school parents have to wrestle with the fact that they are withholding these resources from their children, often because they are unwilling to make the financial sacrifices required.  Both sides have their justifications, but, if I’m right about the guilt aspect, then we’re never going to be able to have a constructive conversation unless we all own our “small self” anxieties.

Because my wife and I are avid public school supporters, I must say that we wonder how it might change the public schools if “you” private school families were in the mix, working to push public education to a higher level.  Yet, we also understand how hopeless that can seem, and why parents decide its not right to make their children pay the price for that battle.

I must say that I find it almost amusing that our kids don’t have near the issues with it all that we adults do!

I also must say that I think this is probably another arena in which the way we “do church” probably doesn’t serve our faith all that well.  As long as our worship and religious education remain so segregated along ethnic and socioeconomic lines, then we are probably going to have trouble discerning the most redemptive path.

I’m thinking you probably have a thought or two in response to what I’ve written here!

Wes

I hope readers of this blog will offer their thoughts on this difficult subject as well.  I invite those who do respond to be careful not to make broad assumptions about “the other side” and to acknowledge that this is yet another arena in which good people can hold vastly differing opinions.

peace (?),

.

.

.

P.S. :  This coming Sunday we’ll be talking another “simple” subject: How and when to talk with your children about sex. If any readers of this blog are aware of particularly helpful online resources on this topic, I’ll be grateful if you send me the link.

Public versus Private Schools – Part 1

Note: On on January 11, 2009 I began facilitating a parenting class for DaySpring, the church I attend in Waco.  I’m going to be offering some of what I’m doing there in this space over the Spring.

Good Day all you parental units out there!  After a week off to celebrate Hope in the form of Christ’s victory over death, we’re back to figuring out how get all those little tricycle motors not only growed up, but growed up as persons of great character and faith.

One of the decisions that almost every parent considers at one time or another is the public school versus private school decision. In Waco, this comes down to actually three choices, which I suspect are similar to many communities.  Parents have these options:

1. Waco Independent School District. WISD is fraught with all the challenges of a large, diverse district which has a very large population of socio-economically challenged kids.  My wife, as the nurse at Waco High, has a front row seat from which to observe all of difficulties of running such a district.  WISD has a large number of very uninvolved parents, and therefore a tremendous amount of resources are directed as just trying to keep the kids of these parents moving forward.  At the same time, the district has provided outstanding resources for those students who are self-motivated achievers.
2. Suburban schools. Waco is surrounded by some smaller communities which have excellent schools.  Because these communities are less socioeconomically diverse, they tend to deal with much less conflict, and therefore, fewer distractions.  Many parents who work in Waco opt to live in one of these communities because of the schools.
3. Private schools. Waco has several outstanding college prep, private school options.  These schools offer smaller class sizes and much more personal instruction.  The obvious downside is the cost.  All of these schools provide scholarships to help families who can’t afford the full fees, but for understandable reasons, the student bodies tend to be fairly homogeneous both socio-economically and ethnically.

DaySpring is fortunate to have some really cool young people from each of these settings.  These young men and women have become close friends through church, and so have a pretty good idea about how their school lives compare.  This past Sunday morning four of these students met with our class to discuss their experiences and their impressions regarding these school choices.

I’ve not been able to figure out how to summarize what they had to say, other than to point out that they each did a good job of expressing what they appreciated about the school they each attendened and what they perceived to be the differences.

I’m sending a note to the members of the class asking them to offer their reflections on the conversation with the youth….

Spanking: Hey, I turned out okay, didn’t I? DIDN’T I???

Note: On on January 11, 2009 I began facilitating a parenting class for DaySpring, the church I attend in Waco.  I’m going to be offering some of what I’m doing there in this space over the Spring.

This morning, in the class, I’ll be passing out a copy of Mark Brady’s post on spanking, along with selective comments on his post (read, ONLY THE ONES I AGREE WITH — not really…)

This may be the only topic in the universe on which I have some disagreement with Dr. Brady.  This is very disturbing to me, since my personality type demands that everyone I admire think exactly the same way I do (Barney to Otis, “I shudder to think what you just revealed about yourself!”)  But I digress…

My view has long been that a swat on the bottom can be a very effective “tool” for parenting, so long as the child is ALWAYS given the opportunity to avoid the swat.

Many people, it seems, react to any openness to spanking with an assumption that its almost bound to turn in to something like this: Texas Coach Struck Student 21 Times With Paddle. (Thank you, Jenn, for putting me on to this one.) I must admit, when I read some of the comments to this story, I wonder if our culture is doomed….

Perhaps the fundamental question is, “Do mature parents ever spank their children?

As always, I’ll appreciate your comments.

An Interlude on Faith Development

The following essay was stimulated by a concept from Ken Wilbur that I came across in one of his books, though I can’t recall which!

Part One

You awaken in a recliner.  As the fog clears from your fuzzy mind your eyes focus on the ceiling high above you. Fluorescent lights form a grid across the expanse some 15 feet overhead.  You lean forward in the recliner and take in the scene.  You are in a warehouse.  There’s furniture scattered all around you.

You begin to wander (wonder?) among the chairs and tables and desks.  There’s a old twin bed over there.  You see a television against one wall.  There’s a cool stereo system next to a refrigerator.  Your shoes clack on the old hardwood floors.  Your steps create a slight echo as the sound bounces off the brick walls..  Your attention is drawn to the sunlight streaming through narrow windows that run along the top of the walls.

You notice the bed stand not too far from the bed, so you begin to push it closer.  You’re not sure why, but it just seems like you ought to go ahead and move that bed stand next to the bed.  “That lamp over there would look nice on the bed stand,” you think.

As the sun is setting you’ve created a very cozy sitting area over in one corner.  There’s an old leather couch that matches the recliner.  They are now arranged with the TV and stereo, and a couple of end tables.  The ice tea you found in the fridge has filled a glass that sits on the coffee table.  And there’s a can of mixed nuts you came across in that old, free standing pantry.  You settle in to watch a documentary on the evolution of rock and roll in America.  You think, “Tomorrow I’m going to push all the kitchen stuff over there where the light was bright earlier.”

You spend day after day of creative energy moving all of this interesting furniture around on this interesting warehouse floor.  You smile when you come across a stash of artwork.  There’s a funky, colorful print that’s sort of Picasso-ish.  You come across three large Ansel Adams posters set in large black frames.  And there’s that detail from the Sistine chapel… the one that always makes you think, “Pull my finger.”  You feel a tinge of sacrilegious guilt, but you’re smiling.  As the art goes up on the walls, and the various ceramic pieces are placed on tables where they can be properly admired, your sense of completion begins to take hold.

You’ve taken great delight in moving, organizing, and reorganizing your floor.  You’re office is over by that one bay window.  The bedroom is over in that corner that receives the least light.  The kitchen has shifted around the space, and now seems perfect right in the middle of the room (“Just how does the water and sink manage to function properly wherever I move the kitchen? I guess I’ll just let it be magic until I have time to figure it out…”)

As you step out from a long, hot shower you survey your floor and think, “I do believe I’ve got it just how I want it.”  You put on warm pajamas and settle back in the that recliner.  A favorite old movie is starting.  You doze off with a great sense of contentment.

Part Two

You awaken with a start.  An odd tingle of anxiety is gnawing at you.  You rise from that friendly recliner and take in your space – your well organized, satisfying space.  You begin to wander (wonder?) around the warehouse floor as you’ve done countless times, only this time you feel pushed…. You feel pushed along by some odd mix of anxiety and curiosity.  You don’t know what you’re looking for.  You just know you are supposed to be looking.

You glance at the space you left behind the bookcases.  “Is that..?  I believe it is… an elevator door?”  The shiny silver door seems so out of place. “How did I not see that before?”  There’s one single button: a circle; with an arrow; pointing up.

You press the button.  The door slides open. You step on.  The door slides shut, and you feel that subtle pull that let’s you know you are rising. “It never occurred to me that this warehouse had another floor.”  The door opens.  And you immediately take in the scene.  There’s furniture scattered all over the floor.  You step out.  Off to your left is a recliner.  Its different from your recliner, but it looks comfortable.  To right is a coffee table, and you think, “That coffee table needs to be over there next to that recliner.”

Part Three

“Let me think… is this my fourth floor or my fifth floor?”  You’re breaking a sweat as you shove that huge, oak armoire across the slick wood floor so it can sit next to the king size bed with the iron frame.  “This is the first time I’ve had a king size bed.”
“Where did I see that funky reading lamp?”
“I wonder how many floors are in this….”

Wait….

“How many floors…?”
“I wonder why THAT question never occurred to me before?”

An Alternate Part Two

You awaken with a start.  An odd tingle of anxiety is gnawing at you.  You rise from that friendly recliner and take in your space – your well organized, satisfying space.  You begin to wander (wonder?) around the warehouse floor as you’ve done countless times, only this time you feel pushed…. You feel pushed along by some odd mix of anxiety and curiosity.  You don’t know what you’re looking for.  You just know you are supposed to be looking.

You glance at the space you left behind the bookcases.  “Is that..?  I believe it is… an elevator door?”  The shiny silver door seems so out of place. “How did I not see that before?”  There’s one single button: a circle; with an arrow; pointing up.

You press the button.  The door slides open. You step on.  The door slides shut, and you feel that subtle pull that let’s you know you are rising. “It never occurred to me that this warehouse had another floor.”  The door opens.  And you immediately take in the scene.  There’s furniture scattered all over the floor.  You step out.  Off to your left is a recliner.
Suddenly you begin to sweat.  Your heart is racing.  Your ears are ringing.

You take two steps back.  You’re again standing in the elevator.  You look frantically to the left of the door, “Yes… a down button… a down button… push the down button…”

Your heart slows as you feel the descent.  The door opens and you race out of the elevator and straight to your recliner.  You click on the TV with the remote.  Your favorite team is playing.  Good… your favorite team…  You pull the quilt over you and snuggle deeply into the recliner, as though it were a womb.  An odd fragment of Gaelic poetry drifts though your mind as conscious fades.

Deep is the sleep of the dead;
…..low their pillow of dust.
……….No more shall he hear thy voice;
……………no more shall he awake at thy call.