50 Things You Should Know about Your Spouse: Next Step


This “inventory” has been developed by ignoring virtually all rules regarding proper scientific research and methodology. In other words, I got all your great suggestions, picked the ones I really liked, and dumped the others.

However, I don’t mean to suggest that I had no semi-objective criteria. I wanted questions that would be simple to answer with a word or phrase, and that could at be generally seen as some indicator of how well a person knows his or her spouse.

A perfect example is: “What is your spouse’s favorite flavor of ice cream?”

I wouldn’t want to suggest that some of you had a little bit of trouble catching this wave, but, for example, the following question really didn’t fit: Can you name your spouse’s three favorite existential theologians (other an Kierkegaard) and briefly describe each one’s key contribution to your spouse’s world view?

My current list is below, and its still got two questions too many on it. If you would, could you please click on the “Comment” link below and tell me which two you’d discard? I’m also willing for you to make the case for some question you suggested that didn’t make the cut (but odds are I’m too insecure to actually admit that you are right and I made a mistake.)

I want to note that several of you made reference to the Chapman’s Five Love Languages stuff, but I didn’t include any of those since many people would not be familiar with that material.

Here’s da list….

1. What is your spouse’s social security number?
2. In what city was your spouse born?
3. What is your spouse’s blood type?
4. What does your spouse feel is his or her greatest personal strength?
5. What is your spouse’s favorite food or meal?
6. What is his/her favorite dessert?
7. What’s your spouse’s typical position for sleep (left side, right side, back)?
8. What is your spouse’s favorite pastime activity or favorite hobby?
9. If your spouse had the job of his/her dreams, what would it be?
10. Where is your spouse’s favorite vacation spot?
11. What is your spouse’s political affiliation?
12. What was your spouse’s favorite childhood pet?
13. Who was your spouse’s best friend(s) in high school?
14. How many times per month would your spouse like to have sex?
15. What make & model, and color was your spouse’s first car?
16. What was your spouse’s first job?
17. Who was your spouse’s best friend(s) in college?
18. What is your spouse’s mother’s maiden name?
19. What is your spouse’s all-time favorite film?
20. What would your spouse say is your most annoying habit?
21. If your spouse could be any celebrity, who would he or she want to be?
22. If your spouse could simply wake-up in any part of the world and enjoy a week of exploring, what location would it be (travel cost and time being no object)?
23. Who is your spouse’s current best friend?
24. What is your spouse’s favorite flavor of ice cream?
25. What is your spouse’s shoe size?
26. What is your spouse’s waist size?
27. What is your spouse’s favorite restaurant?
28. Who is your spouse’s favorite musician at the moment?
29. What are your spouse’s parents full names?
30. If your spouse could change professions, what would he/she choose (money being no object)?
31. What household chore does your spouse most despise?
32. What is your spouses cell phone number?
33. How many bones has your spouse broken?
34. Does your spouse have tonsils?
35. How many jobs has your spouse had since graduation from college?
36. Has your spouse ever had a nickname? If so, what was/is it?
37. To which of your spouse’s family members is he/she closest?
38. What “hurt” from the past has your spouse struggled most to overcome?
39. Does your spouse prefer the toilet paper unroll from the top, or the bottom?
40. How many children did your spouse want to have when you got married?
41. How would my spouse most wish to spend time as a family?
42. What book is your spouse currently reading?
43. What is your spouse’s favorite way to wind down after a stressful day?
44. How much money does your spouse need to have in savings to feel financially responsible?
45. What is your partner’s favorite pizza topping?
46. What day of the week did you meet your spouse?
47. What single word would your spouse use to describe you?
48. What perfume/scent does your spouse like YOU to use?
49. What is your spouse’s favorite movie?
50. What is your spouse’s favorite sexual position?
51. How long would your spouse say “foreplay” should last? (answer in minutes, not seconds).
52. What, if any, musical instrument(s) has your spouse played?


About Wes Eades

I've been a pastoral counselor, marital therapist, and overall listening ear since about 1989 or so.
This entry was posted in Marriage. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to 50 Things You Should Know about Your Spouse: Next Step

  1. stef_schrader says:

    53. Does your spouse own or plan to own any Puffalumps?

  2. CBM says:

    I’d say ditch:

    26. Waist size? — Women don’t usually even know their own waist size, as our clothes are not numbered that way. So this question wouldn’t be easily answered by both spouses.

    44. How much cushion to feel financially responsible? — That could be hard for many people to give a quantitative answer to, especially people who must live from paycheck to paycheck (or loan check to loan check!) as we have for our eight-year marriage.

    46. Day of week you met? — I’m sure some people know this, but I bet it’s not widespread. Maybe what date, but probably not what day. I’m a sappy woman and I don’t even know that. Seems like it would have to be a “love at first sight” reaction to make you remember something as specific as the day of the week you met.

    But I do know our first kiss was May 9, 1997. How about date of first kiss or first date? OR, simply WHERE did you go for your first date?

  3. CBM says:

    Questions 19 and 49 are duplicates (fave movie).

  4. Karen P says:

    It seems you’re down to needing to dump one question. I vote for the tonsils question. It doesn’t seem to be all that important to me. Then I never had mine out.

  5. loreelle says:

    Question 51 could be eliminated. In light of the seemingly duplicate questions (19 and 46 – though a film is not always a movie per se…) I’d say eliminate the foreplay timing question…seconds or minutes are not always the unit of measure, but rather level of intensity and when both self and spouse are ‘ready’ to move on.

  6. Practical Spirituality says:

    I’ve been surprised that hardly anyone mentioned the questions regarding sex… actually… knowing some of you.. I’m REALLY SURPRISED no attemps were made at rude and/or hilarious jokes…

  7. loreelle says:

    …i speak for myself, but perhaps collectively here – perhaps “we” were all trying to keep our thoughts “scientific” heh heh.

  8. Rebecca says:

    How about where spouses parents were born? And full names of parents? I know both of these things about my in-laws, but my husband does not. Think it’s a little crazy considering we’ve been together for 14 years, and married for 10.

  9. Joe Burton says:

    This was a lot of fun! My sweet sexy wife knows me better than I expected.

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