Redemptive Confrontation

Two friends have “confronted” me concerning something I had written that they both found troubling and offensive. They each took the risk of being very direct and honest with me about it. In considering what they had to say, I had to conclude they were right.
I draw attention to it here because it seems so rare that people are willing to express love in this way. So often we use the excuse of not wanting to offend to justify a lack of full honesty. When we do so, we put a lid on the potential for that relationship.
Of course, sometimes I have been confronted over an issue, and I’ve disagreed with the person’s point of view. This situation challenges the relationship in an additional way, but also offers an additional avenue to intimacy. At times like that, I try to say something like, “I’m so grateful that you’ve brought this up with me, but, if I’m honest, I’ve got to say that I think you are wrong on this one. But I also want to make sure I’m understanding you right…”
Redemptive confrontation can be so hard to develop, but its one of the best ways to assess who your best friends are, or determine the health of your marriage. Any relationshp that can handle RD, is a good relationship.
And to the friends who spawned these thoughts…. Thank you again.

About Wes Eades

I've been a pastoral counselor, marital therapist, and overall listening ear since about 1989 or so.
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One Response to Redemptive Confrontation

  1. Joanna says:

    I think that is what some refer to as “keeping it real.” Being honest and forthright is always the best medicine for a relationship.

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